GWS
Duke status
Reged: 01/11/02
Posts: 23400
Loc: Oxtura
|
|
I mean, this is really starting to stress me out. The hand goes up, comes towards me and I never know what’s coming. Some guys go for the thumb clasp/finger tip clasp/punch. Others come in with just the straight hand slap/punch combo. Then you have others that work some kind of combination of the two. So then, because I suck at this improvisational handshake stuff, I have to try and memorize everyone’s individual combo. But even that doesn’t work because the bastards will change it up on you! I can’t freaking take it! My whole mellow surfer bro/dude schtick is blown by, ironically, the mellow surfer dude handshake. The hand goes out and I start stressing.
“****. Which one was he? Is he the clasp/punch combo? No wait, that’s Ted… or was that Ed? I think he’s the thumb clasp/ fingertip clasp/ slap/punch combo. Yeah, that’s it. Or was that Fred? Crap.”
By now it is all too late. Then I just wind up fumbling through the thing and looking stupid... er.
I need simplification.
[ September 10, 2003, 01:40 PM: Message edited by: GWS ]
|
crustBro
Miki Dora status
Reged: 04/23/01
Posts: 4273
Loc: colorado springs
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by GWS:
The hand goes up
And your martial arts training takes over.
Simple enough?
|
Mal Pais
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 11/12/02
Posts: 202
Loc: The 252
|
|
This is a topic that's near and dear to my heart. I have wondered for the past five years if I'm just getting old, or are my friends and acquaintances changing their handshakes every time?
I've recently given up (after an awkward moment with my shaper) and gone for the straight businessman shake.
|
stu dog
Tom Curren status
Reged: 01/15/03
Posts: 13243
Loc: CA
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by GWS:
I have to try and memorize everyone’s individual combo.
the variations are regional too!
|
Who's Your Daddy
Tom Curren status
Reged: 01/10/02
Posts: 11378
Loc: Carlsbad, California
|
|
LOL.
That's why I go with the low profile eyebrow raise/head nod. ![[Big Grin]](images/icons/grin.gif)
|
friscodisco
Phil Edwards status
Reged: 08/05/03
Posts: 7085
Loc: In the 949
|
|
I'm a punch the knuckles guy, just because I feel that if they don't get it right, I can just punch them and tell them that they don't get it!
Keep it simple.
Watch out for this one though!
[ September 10, 2003, 01:33 PM: Message edited by: friscodisco ]
|
GWS
Duke status
Reged: 01/11/02
Posts: 23400
Loc: Oxtura
|
|
Have you ever given a non-surfing business associate or client the “bro” shake by mistake?
I did this one time with a client. In a Country Club. After I had just had him sign a contract giving me full trading authority on his 2 million-dollar account. We’d sucked down a few martinis in the bar to lubricate the proceedings and, before I knew it had happened, it was over. I gave the guy the “bro” clasp. I was horrified. Instantly sober and with butterflies the size of condors in my stomach I turned it into a joke. I wound up saving it, but it was close.
|
groovn
Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Reged: 01/16/02
Posts: 9702
Loc: Down Undah - New Zealand
|
|
how about we all start simply slapping our OWN chest at each other with some sort of distinctive symbol...
oh, wait... I think the crips are already using that one.
I'm with you on this one man... I have this mental catalogue of what shake to use for which bro... but I'm really bad at keeping that catalogue organized.... so I wind up slapping when I should be grasping, or grasping when I'm supposed to be punching the knuckles.... etc...
This is exactly why I like doing business with the Japanese.... they just clasp their own hands in front of them and give you a sincere bow.... no pressure.
OR!!! Here's a thought... we could FORCE standardization!! We'll agree on ONE, simple, fundamemtal Bro/Brah shake. Then, EVERY time somebody uses a variation, just knock 'em out with one swift shot to the appropriate pressure point. Leave 'em there unconscious with a copy of "the standard Bro/Brah shake" manual on their chest.....
|
crustBro
Miki Dora status
Reged: 04/23/01
Posts: 4273
Loc: colorado springs
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by groovn:
just knock 'em out
That was my answer!
|
Kidd Furry
Nep status
Reged: 08/19/03
Posts: 807
Loc: San Diego
|
|
No sh*t! Its like you gotta fukin practice shaking hands now. The coolest bros where I live got this finger snap thing they do, which I can never get right. Makes me feel less than. Just the regular surfer bro shake is what I like.
|
tom@daumtooling
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 01/10/02
Posts: 2420
Loc: San Clemente
|
|
Man, I just fumble through it and try to keep up with whatever they're throwing out.
|
j
Gerry Lopez status
Reged: 04/01/03
Posts: 998
Loc: Church of the Stinky Wetsuit
|
|
I'm with you. It confuses the crap out of me especially when I'm with hipster types or some of my african american friends. So complicated.
At least we don't have to 'hongi'. Ugh.
Kofi Annan does the hongi.
Bill Clinton -- hongi.
|
bobsurf
Tom Curren status
Reged: 01/10/03
Posts: 10456
Loc: Blue Oyster Bar
|
|
First off, this is the funniest, and most creative thread I've read in a long time (besides that brilliant Poet ) Kudos to you sharky.
Anywho, it really is a tough call, and virtually impossible to predict what's gonna be thrown atcha. However, there is an easy way to combat this. Whatever they try to throw at you, immediately throw up a closed fist like you want a front to front fist punch. Force him to make the decision. But if done properly (elbow slightly cocked, fist slightly higher than the standard handshake), things should go all right.
It's the easiest, quickest, and least germ exchanging method (if you're one of those germaphobes).
|
El Scorcho
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 11/25/02
Posts: 2177
Loc: LA CAUSA
|
|
![[Razz]](images/icons/tongue.gif)
|
sb2sb
Nep status
Reged: 04/08/02
Posts: 714
|
|
Listen up, honorary mayor of VTA.
You have to be in the flow with whoever you are with or meeting.
I like that it that way, it keeps things interesting.
Unexpected combos are the best b/c, you never know what is going to happen.....keeps you on your toes.
This thread actually made me put a smile on my face because it has been a rather dull an uninteresting day at work.
|
groovn
Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Reged: 01/16/02
Posts: 9702
Loc: Down Undah - New Zealand
|
|
quote:
The coolest bros where I live got this finger snap thing they do, which I can never get right. Makes me feel less than
Yep.... it's the "Star-Bellied Sneeches" all over again.
Does anyone know the origin of this whole handshake-variation nonsense anyway??
Why the heck can't we just extend a hand, grab it in a firm, well-meant but not-too-long nor overly-zealous shake, and be done with it?!?
I know that's tremendously uncool... just wondering how it came to BE so uncool...
|
Reality Check
Phil Edwards status
Reged: 02/07/02
Posts: 6199
Loc: Nor Cal
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by GWS:
Have you ever given a non-surfing business associate or client the “bro” shake by mistake?
I did this one time with a client. In a Country Club. After I had just had him sign a contract giving me full trading authority on his 2 million-dollar account. We’d sucked down a few martinis in the bar to lubricate the proceedings and, before I knew it had happened, it was over. I gave the guy the “bro” clasp. I was horrified. Instantly sober and with butterflies the size of condors in my stomach I turned it into a joke. I wound up saving it, but it was close.
Actually I do the opposite to all of my bro bras. I give them the formal professional business hand shake, it always throws them for a loop.
|
pickles
Miki Dora status
Reged: 08/18/03
Posts: 4376
Loc: Ventura, CA
|
|
Ken Bradshaw paddled out at my local break a few weeks ago, paddled up, threw his hand out for a standard shake and said "Hi, I'm Ken". I thought it was really cool.
Tremendously Uncool? Not.
|
Rufus
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 05/07/03
Posts: 2509
Loc: Newport Shores
|
|
At 34 years old, anytime someone gives me something other than the standard, I feel dangerously close to being a "high fivin' white guy." Keeping it simple and straightforward is where it's at. These days I like my handshakes with no bells and whistles.
|
Spray92109
Duke status
Reged: 01/10/02
Posts: 12253
Loc: San Diego, CA, USA
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by HBNative:
At 34 years old, anytime someone gives me something other than the standard, I feel dangerously close to being a "high fivin' white guy." Keeping it simple and straightforward is where it's at. These days I like my handshakes with no bells and whistles.
EXACTAF_CKINLUTELY!!!
37 year old, I say can't hang wid dat sh1t, man.
|
stu dog
Tom Curren status
Reged: 01/15/03
Posts: 13243
Loc: CA
|
|
Everyone should use Turtle's methodology at the end of North Shore as a guide. He's is the truest of bro shakes! ![[Wink]](images/icons/wink.gif)
|
run rabbit run
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 05/25/03
Posts: 507
|
|
From now on when someone motions to do that bro-brah crap with me, I'm gonna say a la Doc Holiday: "Forgive me if I don't shake." Then stare eye to eye straight faced until they do something.
Nah, unless someone REALLY forces (mostly the slap then knuckle hit), I motion enough just that it becomes a regular solid handshake.
|
redwood
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 07/21/03
Posts: 338
|
|
good post.
I vote for the good old fashioned gentlemans straightforward handshake.
Lets face it...I dont want to spend all day trying to figure out the best / coolest way to hold another guys hand...
Keep it simple.
|
dmc2
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 06/04/02
Posts: 2406
Loc: Los Angeles
|
|
I'm with you Sharky. Try adding in the complexity of being black (soul shake), of the hip-hop generation (all kinds of slaps, snaps, pounds and embraces in all kinds of different combinations), a surfer (bro/bra), a lawyer (you always gotta be prepared for the old "squeeze their hand 'till you hear the bones cracking" shake) and spending too much time in Spanish speaking countries (they have their own slide/punch combo). It's really tough trying to greet someone these days.
[ September 10, 2003, 04:43 PM: Message edited by: dmc2 ]
|
Spray92109
Duke status
Reged: 01/10/02
Posts: 12253
Loc: San Diego, CA, USA
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by dmc2:
the complexity of being black (soul shake), of the hip-hop generation (all kinds of slaps, snaps, pounds and embraces in all kinds of different combinations), a surfer (bro/bra), a lawyer (you always gotta be prepared for the old "squeeze their hand 'till you hear the bones cracking" shake) and spending too much time in Spanish speaking countries (they have their own slide/punch combo)
Hell, this makes me better understand the arguments for continuing affirmative action programs!
How do you do it?
|
stu dog
Tom Curren status
Reged: 01/15/03
Posts: 13243
Loc: CA
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by dmc2:
I'm with you Sharky. Try adding in the complexity of being black (soul shake), of the hip-hop generation (all kinds of slaps, snaps, pounds and embraces in all kinds of different combinations), a surfer (bro/bra), a lawyer (you always gotta be prepared for the old "squeeze their hand 'till you hear the bones cracking" shake) and spending too much time in Spanish speaking countries (they have their own slide/punch combo). It's really tough trying to greet someone these days.
at least no one I know does the double cheek kiss! ![[Eek!]](images/icons/shocked.gif)
|
Stinkeye
Miki Dora status
Reged: 01/12/02
Posts: 4911
Loc: South of town..
|
|
So funny you mention this sharky..
Not too far back I had a bumbling handshake with a person I had just met and started shooting with. At least a few times on the ride home I was thinking about that, going "man what a kook move that was" It's getting a bit ridiculous with all the variations
First of all it'd definitely regional and even then it changes sometimes with individuals. Standard slap, snap, knuckle hit here in SC. Visting SoCal on my recent trip brough on a whole new set of challenges with meeting visiting Aussies, Hawaiians, etc..
ROTFLMAO!
|
Someone
Miki Dora status
Reged: 01/10/02
Posts: 4019
Loc: South BAY, CA
|
|
my friends and I met these two hawaiian kids on our trip out there, and they asked us how it was living in california. I hadn't mentioned that we were from there. "What makes you think we're from California?"
"The Cali-rock handshake you threw, brah"
|
OTIS
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 09/03/02
Posts: 2528
Loc: ENCINITAS, CA, USA
|
|
I say no more handshakes. If your a real surfer, you just flip your hair back and adjust your shades.
|
Waldo
Duke status
Reged: 01/24/02
Posts: 15981
Loc: Back to the Beach
|
|
Man, I'm glad I'm not the only one! I'd been feeling so tragically unhip (which I am anyway).
Thanks GWS, you've liberated me!
Besides - it could be worse.
A lot worse!
|
Spray92109
Duke status
Reged: 01/10/02
Posts: 12253
Loc: San Diego, CA, USA
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by OTIS:
I say no more handshakes. If your a real surfer, you just flip your hair back and adjust your shades.
Just look at people with a scowl and flip them off. It's easier, and a lot more honest, if you live in a beach community in the Summertime.
Besides, you never know where their hand has been.
|
kainoa's dad
Nep status
Reged: 04/06/02
Posts: 649
Loc: Santa Barbara for now
|
|
Oh man this is so funny, I think GWS and I shared a moment like this a couple of weeks ago. We really have a to make a final decision here and spread the word amongst the rest of the tribe.
We should definitely find some way to f uck with the Surfrider sticker, Escalade driving, springsuit booty man types, a special handshake for them, something elaborate and ridiculous, that sets them apart. Nothing would be better than to see these guys in the parking lot doing butterfly kisses or something.
|
Waldo
Duke status
Reged: 01/24/02
Posts: 15981
Loc: Back to the Beach
|
|
Hey SSBM, do the rump bump!
The ladies love it!
|
TRI FINS ARE DANGEROUS
Tom Curren status
Reged: 01/10/02
Posts: 12270
Loc: Pavement, CA USA
|
|
People keep giving me the knuckle "pound". Maybe they think my hands will be clammy?
Also, guys with really, really soft hands scare me.
|
Wuwei
Grom
Reged: 03/21/03
Posts: 58
|
|
Funny thread!
I like to keep it simple and therefore prefer the "normal" handshake.
But as said above:
"guys with really, really soft hands scare me."
So true.
Those guys who put there hands out and you take it and it feels like a wet towel dangling down from your hand...
ugh.
|
bruddahkine
Miki Dora status
Reged: 07/07/03
Posts: 3683
Loc: little bit mauka, little bit m...
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by Someone:
my friends and I met these two hawaiian kids on our trip out there, and they asked us how it was living in california. I hadn't mentioned that we were from there. "What makes you think we're from California?"
"The Cali-rock handshake you threw, brah"
brah - thats cause in hawaii its basic -
you just reach way back, and with your hand slightly cupped swing in fast and clap your hand with your friends, and if both guys are relaxed enough and the timing stay just right, you get one loud hollow sounding POP!
Ho cuz. howzit.. POP!!!!
Ive tried to teach this to numerous friends from the mainland, and they all take forever to figure it out.
So unless you get um, you not going get um, and its pretty easy to sort out whos a loc and whos not just by the handshake..
[ September 11, 2003, 12:01 PM: Message edited by: bruddahkine ]
|
Tanner
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 07/30/03
Posts: 3296
Loc: Point Loma
|
|
Well, I'm glad this topic is finally out of the closet, because I too was stressing about it.
Last weekend at San Diego's ASR tradeshow (the BIGGEST Bro-Brah-shaka-laka-ding-dong scene in the free world), I was nearly having an anxiety attack because of all the handshakes going down, with lots of awkwardness.
A co-worker and I had the same discussion on Monday, expressing our frustration over shaking hands with a bro......
What's it going to be??????
|
tharealHB
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 03/05/02
Posts: 2548
Loc: hermosa beach, ca
|
|
the best handshake ever was between Will and Jazz. The slap, slap, hand pull back over their head with the "pssssshhhhh" noise 
|
tdowns007
Grom
Reged: 09/05/03
Posts: 59
Loc: Monrovia,, ,CA
|
|
Hilarious, man, good topic. I've seriously wondered about the standardization myself. Let's start here. I like the thumb clasp, slide down to finger grasp and knuckle bump as a standard.
But like you, it's so nuts, I now just extend the knuckles for a quick tap, no way to get the fingers scrunched in that one. Or I go with traditional, but I usually have to force the issue on that one, gotta be quick or the hands jumping around like a tamale.
Of course within groups it's fun to have fancy 5-7 step configurations, but we def. need a standard. casual aquantances and first time meetings.
The worst is the limp fish, when you get caught by surprise and give it to them, or worse, they leave the limpies laying in your hand on purpose. Wig out man.
|
Lefthander
Gerry Lopez status
Reged: 10/23/06
Posts: 1113
Loc: San Diego
|
|
Quote:
I mean, this is really starting to stress me out. The hand goes up, comes towards me and I never know what’s coming. Some guys go for the thumb clasp/finger tip clasp/punch. Others come in with just the straight hand slap/punch combo. Then you have others that work some kind of combination of the two. So then, because I suck at this improvisational handshake stuff, I have to try and memorize everyone’s individual combo. But even that doesn’t work because the bastards will change it up on you! I can’t freaking take it! My whole mellow surfer bro/dude schtick is blown by, ironically, the mellow surfer dude handshake. The hand goes out and I start stressing.
“****. Which one was he? Is he the clasp/punch combo? No wait, that’s Ted… or was that Ed? I think he’s the thumb clasp/ fingertip clasp/ slap/punch combo. Yeah, that’s it. Or was that Fred? Crap.”
By now it is all too late. Then I just wind up fumbling through the thing and looking stupid... er.
I need simplification.
<small>[ September 10, 2003, 01:40 PM: Message edited by: GWS ]</small>
A good solid high 5 will ease a lot of the awkwardness of the bro/ bra/ bruh/ hand shaking dealio
--------------------
"Fins will Come with These Boards" -GG
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
