averagejoe
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 3374
Loc: santa cruz
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went down to todos santos with my wife last week. had a pretty nice trip, but got frustrated by trying to juggle my desire to wait for the best conditions and surf my brains out with my desire to be a good travel companion for my wife.
has anyone figured out how to juggle the two in a way that both parties are happy?
as we were driving to the airport she mentioned that she'd like to maybe come back and do the all-inclusive-resort in cabo thing in june/july. it sounds like a nice trip but i can see myself feeling torn b/w wanting to hang w/ her and wanting to surf my brains out.
how do you guys manage it day to day? i usually dawn patrol 3-4 days during the work week and i get like an hour or so of water time right now. on weekends i like going for 2-3 hour sessions sandwiched b/w drive time, so it can add up to 5 hours. she ends up feeling like she gets the leftovers. i don't necessarily disagree but don't know what to say? when we started dating i told her "you don't want to date a surfer" b/c it's always in the back of my mind, but it wasn't enough to scare her off, i suspect b/c she thought things would change and it would become less important 
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6' 165 lbs 40 yrs old and i hate thrusters
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Havoc
Tom Curren status
Reged: 09/10/07
Posts: 10000
Loc: The OC Life
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Quote:
went down to todos santos with my wife last week. had a pretty nice trip, but got frustrated by trying to juggle my desire to wait for the best conditions and surf my brains out with my desire to be a good travel companion for my wife.
has anyone figured out how to juggle the two in a way that both parties are happy?
as we were driving to the airport she mentioned that she'd like to maybe come back and do the all-inclusive-resort in cabo thing in june/july. it sounds like a nice trip but i can see myself feeling torn b/w wanting to hang w/ her and wanting to surf my brains out.
how do you guys manage it day to day? i usually dawn patrol 3-4 days during the work week and i get like an hour or so of water time right now. on weekends i like going for 2-3 hour sessions sandwiched b/w drive time, so it can add up to 5 hours. she ends up feeling like she gets the leftovers. i don't necessarily disagree but don't know what to say? when we started dating i told her "you don't want to date a surfer" b/c it's always in the back of my mind, but it wasn't enough to scare her off, i suspect b/c she thought things would change and it would become less important
women always try to marry the man they wanna change. don't give in or else she'll find some other guy to go change. it's that friction that'll keep it lively. I'm dealing with the same stuff, my wife despises my surfing and has only gone to the beach with me once to watch me surf and hangout. She's even said the whole "me or surfing" thing and I always say "you" but deep down inside she knows its surfing
anyone else chime in?
 
Havoc
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"motions of rippage is initated by the hind leg"-Northern_Shores
"Lemme know. I got endson gas"-20W
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obslop
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 02/04/02
Posts: 2616
Loc: san diego, CA
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chile. spend some time on the coast and some time in the city and/or Patagonia. plenty for all.
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crankit211
Billy Hamilton status
Reged: 11/09/05
Posts: 1478
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dude,
marriage - less surf time
kid # 1 - even less surf time
Kid #2 - , ever surf in the dark?
i hope i am physically still able to surf by the time my kids are a little more independant 
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gone
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SBSteve
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 04/11/05
Posts: 2193
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Treat her to massages and salon treatments while your out getting some waves, come back and hang out later in the day and do the honey-do thing later.
It's a slippery slope trying to please everyone when only one of you surf.
BTW, the Wife and I spent a week down in Cabo after Thanksgiving and I stayed at my first all-inclusive (The Rio Palace) right on the beach just outside of town and I've got to say it was pretty cool, Endless free bar/food, they kept the refrigerator in the room stocked daily with Dos Equis, and a cabinet with 4 different liquors -Tequila, Rum, Vodka, Scotch, it was basically a big grounded cruise ship.
There wasn't any surf but I did bring my fishing rods and got 2 days of charter fishing in.
In June/July Zips/Monuments and half dozen other spots will have waves and if you rent a car you can get your DP seshes in and come back to hang with #1.
My wife actually encourages me to go surfing on our trips because how stoked I am when I come back, she takes walks or shops while I'm gone.
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jettylocal
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 05/23/02
Posts: 2155
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Busting out a well-timed shoulder or back massage works wonders. However, this only applies if given without ulterior motives 
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JettyGirl.com
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LAisntsobad
Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Reged: 10/21/03
Posts: 9300
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It's more expensive but worth it:
1. Take wife on a "wifey vacation"
2. Go on surf trip or vice versa
Quote:
marriage - less surf time
Depends on wife. I don't know about total surf time, but I definitely score more waves now than when I was single.
Single = late nights (if you're getting any/or attempting to get p*ssy)
Single = missed morning sessions and for you pussywhipped f*gs that actually take chicks to breakfast if they ask, you're limited to on-shore slopfests
 @ hungover 20 somethings that show up when the wind starts switching (I know I used to do the same)
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SIMA:"Promoting participation in surfing, which will result in increased sales of members' products"
Edited by LAisntsobad (01/24/11 03:01 PM)
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g_town
Gerry Lopez status
Reged: 08/30/07
Posts: 1021
Loc: The Gnarshire
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I have been married for 10 years and we have our fourth child on the way. I surf all the time. It's easy....
1.) Don't marry the wrong fvcking person. That's key.
2.) ALWAYS come back from surfing in a better mood than when you left. Cannot stress this enough. It works.
3.) When it's small / blown out do whatever she wants. Saturday trip down to the IKEA in Burbank = no stress surf on Sunday. Once you make the decision that you are not going to surf, don't check the bouys. Do what she wants all the way.
4) Make sure your kids surf. Machiavellian style. It's like breeding out your enemy...
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http://gnarshire.blogspot.com/
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SurfZombie
Tom Curren status
Reged: 06/29/04
Posts: 14200
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My wife rips.
Problem solved (until she starts dropping in on me because I'm her husband  )
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Chilasno
Nep status
Reged: 07/07/06
Posts: 658
Loc: Where the three eyed fish flop
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An addendum to SBSTEVE...
Go to a place like Bali, where she can get a 2 hour massage overlooking the beach while you are out, and without breaking the bank. Ditto French Polynesia but only if money is no object.
Or you can resign to 2 surfs a day. Dp (while she is still sleeping, and if you can sneak out without waking her) and the evening glass off as she is getting ready for dinner.
Or travel with friends. As I get older this becomes a better idea. That way she is not left alone.
Now, when you have kids just forget all of the above. You just have to go and take the beating that is coming after.
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smslavin
Phil Edwards status
Reged: 01/27/03
Posts: 6147
Loc: The Mountain
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Quote:
I have been married for 10 years and we have our fourth child on the way. I surf all the time. It's easy....
1.) Don't marry the wrong fvcking person. That's key.
2.) ALWAYS come back from surfing in a better mood than when you left. Cannot stress this enough. It works.
3.) When it's small / blown out do whatever she wants. Saturday trip down to the IKEA in Burbank = no stress surf on Sunday. Once you make the decision that you are not going to surf, don't check the bouys. Do what she wants all the way.
4) Make sure your kids surf. Machiavellian style. It's like breeding out your enemy...
We're going on 12 years with 3 kids. Getting in the water is not an issue. Dawn on some days. Afternoons on others. Now that Piper is getting older, Bec feels way more comfortable in just letting her run the beach. We were all at the beach last week, Dillen and I surfed for a bit then I got in about 1.5 hrs on my own. Worked out great.
Bec has no issues with my water time. She knows I need it. It's a two way street, so when she wants a girls night out or anything else, I'm pretty agreeable.
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{blog}
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averagejoe
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 05/28/08
Posts: 3374
Loc: santa cruz
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she's not a ball breaker. very non confrontational. i can just tell she isn't stoked sometimes and don't want to be a dick.
she's fine w/ me taking surf trips w/out her - i have and will in the future. this time i was just hoping there could be more of a balance. i was more frustrated than her i think.
i like the tip of ALWAYS coming home from surfing in a good mood - i do come home pissed and bitter occasionally.
good suggestions all around
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6' 165 lbs 40 yrs old and i hate thrusters
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rice
Duke status
Reged: 07/02/02
Posts: 17784
Loc: CA
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Go somewhere with no surf.
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Blacks
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 02/08/09
Posts: 444
Loc: East Coast, Great White North
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Done this a couple of times- deal was surf until around 10 or so and then times up. I'm a dawn patrol guy anyway so it's never been a problem (plus if I did this for a few days she was cool with an afternoon session if the winds hadn't fvcked things up). My wife loves it when I'm happy and surfing makes me happy so...- give and take!
I'm lucky and I know it.
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Chill
Blacks
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slopokecr
Nep status
Reged: 09/28/07
Posts: 881
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My wife surfs too!
But either way, my advice?
HANALEI
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SBSteve
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 04/11/05
Posts: 2193
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Quote:
An addendum to SBSTEVE...
Go to a place like Bali, where she can get a 2 hour massage overlooking the beach while you are out, and without breaking the bank. Ditto French Polynesia but only if money is no object.
Or you can resign to 2 surfs a day. Dp (while she is still sleeping, and if you can sneak out without waking her) and the evening glass off as she is getting ready for dinner.
Or travel with friends. As I get older this becomes a better idea. That way she is not left alone.
Now, when you have kids just forget all of the above. You just have to go and take the beating that is coming after.
That's exaxctly what I did in FP for our honeymoon.
Got up at dark thirty, caught the shuttle out to Fiti pass, surfed for 2+ hrs. while #1 got a massage at the resort, came back stoked and had breakfast then went and did the tourist thing in our renta-car around the island of Huahine and did it again 2 more times at the other islands we visited, she was stoked, I was stoked, all's good!  Bali is next on the list.
Fortunately, we don't have kids, never wanted any,we got married later in life (not there's anything wrong with that - kids) but we have tons of nieces and nephews and we've both been travelers and never had the instinct.
Like a few have indicated, kids=less time for you and your wife's selves.
Besides (I might get flamed on this) why would you want to bring anyone into this FU world anyway. Sorry 
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Steak
Kelly Slater status
Reged: 11/09/10
Posts: 8223
Loc: No Country for Old Men
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I work with a girl who complains constantly about how much
time her husband spends on the weekends, weekdays out
surfing.
The plus side is I'm getting paid to spend 8 hours a day
listening to her.
--------------------
If it doesn't have tits, fins, sparkplugs, gunpowder or hops I'm not interested.
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retodd
Tom Curren status
Reged: 02/22/09
Posts: 11192
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Quote:
My wife rips.
Problem solved (until she starts dropping in on me because I'm her husband )
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RayG
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 12/03/02
Posts: 389
Loc: Astoria, NY USA
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Palladium Vallarta Resort & Spa in Mexico... All inclusive with waves right out front. As in a lot of places in Mexico, you go out early before the wind kicks in, then you spend the rest of the day doing a Tequila tour or Quad Bikes. Have some dinner, drink a bit more, then get up a do it again.
It's close enough to Sayulita as well for a day trip, or doing the shopping thing in Bucerias or Puerta Vallarta itself. Just came back in October from a resort a few miles up the beach, and took a ride up to that area to poke around. A couple of other breaks right around the resort as well.
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Gordon Gekko
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 06/13/03
Posts: 411
Loc: East of Eden/Bahamas
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Quote:
Quote:
went down to todos santos with my wife last week. had a pretty nice trip, but got frustrated by trying to juggle my desire to wait for the best conditions and surf my brains out with my desire to be a good travel companion for my wife.
has anyone figured out how to juggle the two in a way that both parties are happy?
as we were driving to the airport she mentioned that she'd like to maybe come back and do the all-inclusive-resort in cabo thing in june/july. it sounds like a nice trip but i can see myself feeling torn b/w wanting to hang w/ her and wanting to surf my brains out.
how do you guys manage it day to day? i usually dawn patrol 3-4 days during the work week and i get like an hour or so of water time right now. on weekends i like going for 2-3 hour sessions sandwiched b/w drive time, so it can add up to 5 hours. she ends up feeling like she gets the leftovers. i don't necessarily disagree but don't know what to say? when we started dating i told her "you don't want to date a surfer" b/c it's always in the back of my mind, but it wasn't enough to scare her off, i suspect b/c she thought things would change and it would become less important
women always try to marry the man they wanna change. don't give in or else she'll find some other guy to go change. it's that friction that'll keep it lively. I'm dealing with the same stuff, my wife despises my surfing and has only gone to the beach with me once to watch me surf and hangout. She's even said the whole "me or surfing" thing and I always say "you" but deep down inside she knows its surfing
anyone else chime in?
Havoc
Why marry a bird who despises your love for surfing? 
That sounds like a fun marriage.
--------------------
Enjoy the ride.
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JohnDunbar
Nep status
Reged: 04/06/10
Posts: 669
Loc: PL
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Same concept applies whether it is a surf trip or just a homebreak session. She has to know and accept that surfing is and always will be a priority. To prevent the "we are arranging our entire day around you and your surfing" comments that are inevitable for surfers with kids, I dawn patrol as much as possible, surf a lot during the week on my lunch break, and provide wifey a tide calender that is prominately displayed in the house. Show knows that +/- two hours from low tide when wind will be the lightest is the prime window. This window applies for any day of the year. When it is good, gotta go. Mickey Munoz said it right - " I have not missed a good swell in 40 years"
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ifallalot
Duke status
Reged: 12/17/08
Posts: 18022
Loc: Carlsbad, CA
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Let us know about the Cabo trip. We want to go down again.
The all-inclusive thing can be pretty fun; we got married at Dreams
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The only two things in life that make it worth livin is guitars tuned good and firm feelin women
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Ranga
Nep status
Reged: 12/31/08
Posts: 573
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Bali is effing awesome for the wife. She can shop her little brains out (and not do any real damage in the process), get spa/rubdown while you surf (some of the best waves you'll ever see). When it's flat/between swells, spend a few days in Ubud and you're the best husband ever.
Bonus: I never once worried about her when I was out surfing (like I would in, say, Mexico).
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mikemou
Grom
Reged: 01/20/11
Posts: 56
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Have you tried just explaining her your surf desires? She will probably understand... Its just 2 hours out of 24!
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vidaglassy.blogspot.com
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afoaf
Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 9859
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Quote:
Let us know about the Cabo trip. We want to go down again.
The all-inclusive thing can be pretty fun; we got married at Dreams
destination wedding...you marry the money or what?
this whole Coil blackmail thing looks like it just got a bit
more lucrative.
--------------------
(although I wouldn't put it past me to eventually have a quiver of Bonsais around the house)
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Kawika
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 03/25/03
Posts: 1992
Loc: Alaska
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Married 19 years with two boys ages 9 and 17. Everyone surfs and most family vacations are geared around surf.  I still travel solo to check out more sketchy destinations that I wouldn't consider taking my family. 
That being said, I have dated girls before I was married that tried to drive a wedge between me and my surfing. Fvck that: The more they put the screws to me, the more I screwed right out from underneath 'em. I decided early on not to marry some bitch that would try to curtail my surfing. For awhile, it looked like I would remain single. Then I met my wife. 
--------------------
"Let's go to Cap'n Cork's, they got the new Yanni cassette..."
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SenorStoked
Miki Dora status
Reged: 10/16/03
Posts: 4220
Loc: east of the big apple
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Girl now doesn't surf but absolutely loves the beach and really wants to get into it this summer. She pushes me to go surfing because she knows it keeps me happy and keeps me in shape.
If your girl won't give you the time to surf then what will she give you time for?
As for the surf friendly, chick friendly locations....Puerto Rico is always nice, as is Barbados if you're looking to head East. Otherwise, Mexico, Costa and most definitely Hanalei.
Had a conversation with the lady last night about a possible Hawaii trip in the fall of next year. Hopefully I can scratch Hanalei off my list and luck into a swell. Only time will tell I guess.
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subway
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 12/31/08
Posts: 3489
Loc: NYC
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Quote:
Girl now doesn't surf but absolutely loves the beach and really wants to get into it this summer. She pushes me to go surfing because she knows it keeps me happy and keeps me in shape.
If your girl won't give you the time to surf then what will she give you time for?
As for the surf friendly, chick friendly locations....Puerto Rico is always nice, as is Barbados if you're looking to head East. Otherwise, Mexico, Costa and most definitely Hanalei.
Had a conversation with the lady last night about a possible Hawaii trip in the fall of next year. Hopefully I can scratch Hanalei off my list and luck into a swell. Only time will tell I guess.
Fall of 2011 or 2012? Let's rent a house- the girls can take lessons together while PPK blocks for us at the Bay.
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SenorStoked
Miki Dora status
Reged: 10/16/03
Posts: 4220
Loc: east of the big apple
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2011 hopefully, 2012 probably...
Yo, Rebellution...E-mail me the details so I can forward it on to Crystal. She's paying. 
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fishtank
Nep status
Reged: 06/20/10
Posts: 822
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You go places ahe would like to see that have good waves. Maybe Europe, South America, Australia just make suggestions to see if shes interested. Try to surf as much as possible while spending as much time with the wife, you'll find a good balance between the two
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ifallalot
Duke status
Reged: 12/17/08
Posts: 18022
Loc: Carlsbad, CA
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Quote:
Quote:
Let us know about the Cabo trip. We want to go down again.
The all-inclusive thing can be pretty fun; we got married at Dreams
destination wedding...you marry the money or what?
this whole Coil blackmail thing looks like it just got a bit
more lucrative.
Dude, destination was WAAY cheaper than an American wedding. Also, she's originally from Michigan so it was either make one family travel or both families travel
--------------------
The only two things in life that make it worth livin is guitars tuned good and firm feelin women
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ifallalot
Duke status
Reged: 12/17/08
Posts: 18022
Loc: Carlsbad, CA
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Quote:
Quote:
went down to todos santos with my wife last week. had a pretty nice trip, but got frustrated by trying to juggle my desire to wait for the best conditions and surf my brains out with my desire to be a good travel companion for my wife.
has anyone figured out how to juggle the two in a way that both parties are happy?
as we were driving to the airport she mentioned that she'd like to maybe come back and do the all-inclusive-resort in cabo thing in june/july. it sounds like a nice trip but i can see myself feeling torn b/w wanting to hang w/ her and wanting to surf my brains out.
how do you guys manage it day to day? i usually dawn patrol 3-4 days during the work week and i get like an hour or so of water time right now. on weekends i like going for 2-3 hour sessions sandwiched b/w drive time, so it can add up to 5 hours. she ends up feeling like she gets the leftovers. i don't necessarily disagree but don't know what to say? when we started dating i told her "you don't want to date a surfer" b/c it's always in the back of my mind, but it wasn't enough to scare her off, i suspect b/c she thought things would change and it would become less important
women always try to marry the man they wanna change. don't give in or else she'll find some other guy to go change. it's that friction that'll keep it lively. I'm dealing with the same stuff, my wife despises my surfing and has only gone to the beach with me once to watch me surf and hangout. She's even said the whole "me or surfing" thing and I always say "you" but deep down inside she knows its surfing
anyone else chime in?
Havoc
My wife does the same sht sometimes.
Deep down I know what's more important too...
--------------------
The only two things in life that make it worth livin is guitars tuned good and firm feelin women
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Gallery
Nep status
Reged: 06/08/10
Posts: 629
Loc: Monmouth Co., NJ
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You need to vacation with another couple who the wife doesn't surf and the husband does. Then the wives amuse themselves while you guys surf. That's my approach.
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Gallery Blog
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ifallalot
Duke status
Reged: 12/17/08
Posts: 18022
Loc: Carlsbad, CA
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Me, averagejoe and Havoc should all go together
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The only two things in life that make it worth livin is guitars tuned good and firm feelin women
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fedot
Grom
Reged: 01/19/11
Posts: 6
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[url=http://heartforyoursoul.com/]Heart diseases,resolution,diseases
[/url]
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