ShackdOffMyMelon
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 3350
Loc: Barrel
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http://www.surfline.com/surf-news/soundin-off_72342/
Pretty funny answers  
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aggregate
Michael Peterson status
Reged: 04/18/12
Posts: 2620
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Thank you for this. I have been avoiding surfline for a while but this is funny.
All of them are liars. Only #7 remotely tells the truth.
He has a good prescription for something or an addiction to something that cannot be prescribed. Stoked for him
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Jehovah
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 07/19/06
Posts: 317
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Earthquakes. Plagues. Charles Whitman.
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Bullnutts
Nep status
Reged: 11/13/04
Posts: 565
Loc: Hawai'i
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Koloa Fish Market. Good place to get some poke after a session on the south shore  .
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Daxter
Grom
Reged: 05/15/12
Posts: 97
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I yell SHARK! repeatedly and bring my fake shark fin buoy.
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bjornfree
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 05/06/11
Posts: 421
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Surfing Point breaks like Malibu the crowd factor is even worse. At least with beach breaks you can try and find your own peak or paddle down the beach. There's no good answer. I'll often sit inside and pick off the smaller waves no one paddled for and forget about the bigger set waves... 
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I've got my new horizons out to sea...
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ifallalot
Duke status
Reged: 12/17/08
Posts: 18394
Loc: Carlsbad, CA
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This guy is the source of all crowds. "IF THEY CUSS AT YOU JUST IGNORE IT" 
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the graphics portray the hawks prey battling death
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john4surf
Miki Dora status
Reged: 05/28/05
Posts: 4391
Loc: CBS
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One of those 'you had to be there' moments...
Took family and son's friend to Hawaii 25-26 years ago. Hanging at a semi-remote and unpopulated beach. Kids were 8-9 years old I suppose. Bodyboarding, feeding the fish, hanging.
A small bus (large van) of tourists from somewhere in asia pulled up and 20-25 people swarmed our little corner of paradise. They had every right to be there as did us mainlanders but crap they were noisy.
After a while, I saw the boys with their frozen peas and veggie packages snorkel into the middle of the noisy mass...
The boys discretely released some food for the fish until they had a large number begging for more. Then, the kids released all the small food at once causing a brief but violent feeding frenzy. The water boiled, splashing, etc. and the kids surfaced yelling, "SHARK! SHARKS in the water!!!!)
The tourists screamed, paniced, made a BANZAI run through the knee hi water to the shore. To their clothes and towels, to their buss!
The beach was once again calm after they left.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it 
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Witchipoo
Gerry Lopez status
Reged: 06/15/10
Posts: 963
Loc: East of Malibu
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Try to get up earlier than everyone else.
Talk to myself in the lineup. Belch loudly (actually, I can't do that but I'm trying to learn).
Try to distinguish between no-respect wavehogs and people who just surf better than me. Pretend the first group is invisible, stay out of the way of the second one.
Try to find a less-crowded peak or section. Better ten crappy waves to myself than one set wave with five of my closest frenemies.
Bitch and moan on the internet. 
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. . . and your little dog, too!
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LeftOLeft
Grom
Reged: 01/31/03
Posts: 121
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I can outpaddle anybody
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royallen
Billy Hamilton status
Reged: 01/30/09
Posts: 1670
Loc: the swamp
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Quote:
I can outpaddle anybody
Ahh, youth.
At some point you will need to out think anybody.
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Everything you know is wrong
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FecalFace
Phil Edwards status
Reged: 11/21/08
Posts: 6769
Loc: down there by the harbor
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Quote:
Quote:
I can outpaddle anybody
Ahh, youth.
At some point you will need to out think anybody.
That's going to be tough for that guy.
And I would pay to see LAissosad in his 50's on a "crutch" being burned over and over by some grom. Karma is a bitch.
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I suggest putting a teacher in every gun store.
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Q_Surf
Tom Curren status
Reged: 05/05/03
Posts: 14508
Loc: world's largest oregon
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i don't
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Nature's finest transportation
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LeftOLeft
Grom
Reged: 01/31/03
Posts: 121
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Quote:
Quote:
I can outpaddle anybody
Ahh, youth.
At some point you will need to out think anybody.
Youth my ass
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LAisntsobad
Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Reged: 10/21/03
Posts: 9300
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What Scarpaci (good surfer btw) said.
Stay away from south swell LA pointbreaks, unless:
1. It's OH+ (the bigger the better since 95% of those no paddle skills having crutchtards hate getting caught by a 5ft malibarn set so they'll be out of position a lot)
or...
2. You already surfed elsewhere or mtn biked first and it's on your way home. You already got yours so you don't really give a chit about the f**ktarderyfest of universal proportions that will be going on around you
PS: I love mtb'ing. No surf or too small? Don't give a f**k. I'll wait patiently til NW season.
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SIMA:"Promoting participation in surfing, which will result in increased sales of members' products"
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000
Tom Curren status
Reged: 02/20/03
Posts: 14880
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i try to find my own peak early morning, down the beach. and then somebody else goes out of his way to join me. in fact yesterday someone did that to me. so i paddled away. he paddled after me. i again paddled away. he again paddled after me. then i asked him if he was in love with me. he said "no, why?". i say "well everywhere i paddle u follow me." he stopped following. and oddly, the surf turned to shiit about that time.
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Pissbiscuit
Gerry Lopez status
Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 1166
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Quote:
i try to find my own peak early morning, down the beach. and then somebody else goes out of his way to join me. in fact yesterday someone did that to me. so i paddled away. he paddled after me. i again paddled away. he again paddled after me. then i asked him if he was in love with me. he said "no, why?". i say "well everywhere i paddle u follow me." he stopped following. and oddly, the surf turned to shiit about that time.
Quality field report. I am hereby fag sarging every person that paddles out on top of me.
I love you like you're the third Hobgood triplet 000.
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"Once again, the emergency stash of hookers and blow has rectified the situation... " Awe F'shore
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bjornfree
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 05/06/11
Posts: 421
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f**ktards, fagsarging, crutchtards, love fest in the surf...where do you guys come up with stuff.
Is there anything worse than SUP'rs that can catch waves but can't turn. Throw in swimmers teaching their babe in arms the ins and outs of dodging lumber in crappy surf and you have f**ktards fagsarging with crutchtards in a love fest...
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I've got my new horizons out to sea...
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LAisntsobad
Rabbitt Bartholomew status
Reged: 10/21/03
Posts: 9300
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Quote:
f**ktards, fagsarging, crutchtards, love fest in the surf...where do you guys come up with stuff.
Is there anything worse than SUP'rs that can catch waves but can't turn. Throw in swimmers teaching their babe in arms the ins and outs of dodging lumber in crappy surf and you have f**ktards fagsarging with crutchtards in a love fest...
It's easy. Just paddle out at a North LA pointbreak on a crrowded day. You'll come up with thousands of catchphrases.
I'm not creative. It's just that there's so much material to work with.
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SIMA:"Promoting participation in surfing, which will result in increased sales of members' products"
Edited by LAisntsobad (07/01/12 12:31 PM)
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bjornfree
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 05/06/11
Posts: 421
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Quote:
Quote:
f**ktards, fagsarging, crutchtards, love fest in the surf...where do you guys come up with stuff.
Is there anything worse than SUP'rs that can catch waves but can't turn. Throw in swimmers teaching their babe in arms the ins and outs of dodging lumber in crappy surf and you have f**ktards fagsarging with crutchtards in a love fest...
It's easy. Just paddle out at a North LA pointbreak on a crrowded day. You'll come up with thousands of catchphrases.
I'm not creative. It's just that there's so much material to work with.
I hear ya. We've got our own issues on the eastcoast. In the summer along with marginal surf the lineup is littered with swimmers and stand up planks and we're all pushed into surf zones...it's  at best. 
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I've got my new horizons out to sea...
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Pissbiscuit
Gerry Lopez status
Reged: 06/25/08
Posts: 1166
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Quote:
Is there anything worse than SUP'rs that can catch waves but can't turn.
In Duval County, yeah, there's worse: longboarders not named Justin Quintal or Joe Pulido, because there's 300x as many and they suck identically.
I've taken to Schadenfreudetarding. It involves sitting on the crossover, watching my once peaceful and shortboardable Northside Jax Pier, overrun with 30 longboarders...
...who are not catching JACK ####ING SH!T because 4 or 5 SUPs bought more volume from the store and have proceeded to anally rape the logdonkey's wave count and ruin their morning.
"I watch a SUP, he steals every wave...Bang bang bang, a SUP on the longboarder's wave, all morning long. Dat's mah pleazhah!"
Edited by Pissbiscuit (07/01/12 01:29 PM)
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bjornfree
Legend (inyourownmind)
Reged: 05/06/11
Posts: 421
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Quote:
Quote:
Is there anything worse than SUP'rs that can catch waves but can't turn.
In Duval County, yeah, there's worse: longboarders not named Justin Quintal or Joe Pulido, because there's 300x as many and they suck identically.
I've taken to Schadenfreudetarding. It involves sitting on the crossover, watching my once peaceful and shortboardable Northside Jax Pier, overrun with 30 longboarders...
...who are not catching JACK ####ING SH!T because 4 or 5 SUPs bought more volume from the store and have proceeded to anally rape the logdonkey's wave count and ruin their morning.
"I watch a SUP, he steals every wave...Bang bang bang, a SUP on the longboarder's wave, all morning long. Dat's mah pleazhah!"
I used to live a block away from the old wooden Jax pier. No longboarders or SUP's in the '70s. A friend of mine is a shop owner and says people are quitting surfing and trading there boards for SUP's. It looks worse out west but the east is catching up...
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I've got my new horizons out to sea...
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